![]() Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling. Uh, well, I had a plant-based doughnut yesterday. Morty, these are my kids, The Tina-Teers. Hey, buddy, you want an autograph? That’s 20 bucks a pop. No, I mean the four kids that bring me into existence by combining the power of their elemental rings so I can save Earth from ecological disasters. I-I was getting kind of a - I mean I-I got kind of a p-positive vibe. S-So it was, uh, great hanging - hanging out the other day. Oh, hey! Y-You’re here, too? Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home, and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand. ![]() ![]() Scratch that! Here’s Planetina, Savioress of Earth! Abandon all hope, people! Nothing will stop this fire. The Governor has implemented a mandatory evacuation. If you don’t want to help me, I’ll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire. I don’t want to think! I want to see a girl I like. My heart is broken, and I deserve to let loose, and if you don’t like it, you can suck my bigger Adios, C-words. Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!ĭa f*ck I’m not. Mom, I-I need the credit card to buy a train ticket. There’s a huge forest fire like 200 miles from here! This is amazing! Planetina’s bound to be there. Summer, approval is yet to be given here! Um, Summer? I-I-I haven’t given you my approval yet. Um… Oh, my God, thank you, Grandpa Rick! I’m gonna go pack my rollie. They’re all having a major, final blow out - and I’m gonna drug it up and suck it up before each one goes ka-blamo, and I’m taking my favorite grandkid along with me!ġ0 seconds on Morglutz, and you’ll be up to your neck in I-could-give-two- sh*ts-about- what’s-his-ass. Morglutz’s sun is going supernova, Slartivart is falling into a black hole, and Ferkus 9 is getting “Deep Impact”-ed by an asteroid. A jam like this comes around only once in a lifetime. Morglutz, Slartivart, and Ferkus 9 - three planets are all ending in a delayed succession of cataclysmic events. What if I told you that your Grandpa Rick’s got something up his sleeve that’s so Rick-diculous that it’s gonna make you forget all about that stupid asshole that dumped you? Is it weird that she hasn’t texted me yet? Look what you’re doing to your sister, you piece of sh*t. Just shoot me in the f*cking head until I die. Taylor Murphy dumps me the day before his hella-big pool party and my little brother’s dating a phase four super hero. She’s a sentient amalgam of natural elements, so I don’t believe age applies to her. How old is this woman? She looks very mature. P-Pretty cool, huh? I-I can’t believe I actually hung out with Planetina. Mother Nature has enlisted the help of four young adults from each major ethnicity - and when things look bad, and I mean really bad - they combine the powers of their elemental rings to create me! Planetina, conservationist super person! There’s only one solution… for Earth’s pollution - you! Planetina: The Earth is in danger! Pollution and waste are ruining our planet. If you’d like, I could fly you and your friend there easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. I know a place that serves cruelty-free doughnuts.
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